Wew... panassssssss ... gerah dan agak2 sun strucked !! Nangsib Mandor =p tapi sih fun juga soale jadi bener2 tau sikon kalo bangun rumah di Indo dan gue nimba beberapa pengalaman buat masa depan.. gue jadi sampe tau pasir tuh ternyata ada beberapa macam dan fungsinya ada masing2... trus ada besi yang fungsi dan namanya macam2 juga heoheoheoeho - keren...keren... gue asik2 aja sih ngejalanin, cuman hari ini emang panas nggak ketulungan dan gue tuh udah di site dari pagi jadi akibatnya kepala kepanasan dan ya ampun sore2 udah deh nikmat banget rasanya.... alias pusing gak kepalang !! Berat seperti kalau orang sedang kena darah rendah atau darting :D

udah gitu banyak sms yang isengin lagi yang kebanyakan sih ngecengin gue jadi mandor pake daster... heuiheuheuhe tapi ngecenginnya ngedukung kok jadina bikin gue ngakak2 aja sampe dikira para perkerja gue udah gelow =p heuheueh bodo awh !

RUAR biasa sibukna dan teramat sangat melelahkan.... nyokap gue aja sampe stresssss heuheueh maklumlah udah sepuh jadi lekas lelah.. mudah2an ALLAH SWT kasih dia kekuatan lahir bathin.. soale jalan masih panjang *hugs mama* - beliau cool banget juga deh... dengan rambutnya yang kian memutih dia memprakarsai urusan2 administrasi dan sesekali nyuruh para kuli untuk ngaduk semen =p hehieeihei itu kalo dia udah ngucap pada nurut dan takut soale takut kena kutukan heiehiehie... takut pada jadi cangkul kalo nggak nurut !!! Gue aja jiper kalo disuruh-surih beliau .. nyokap boooooo... gak nurut n patuh ama dia... sengsara bakalan hidup gue :D - gue lihat kekerenan beliau beberapa hari ini... ilmunya ternyata lebih besar dari yang gue kira... salute to Mum !!

Gile... dukungan dari para tetangga juga banyak ternyata... ada yang nganterin makanan... ada yg nyumbang batu kali... ada yang nyumbang ikan asin... :) - asli gue sampe terharu sama apa yang udah mereka lakukan buat kami... memang kadang saudara terdekat kita adalah para tetangga... Alhamdulillah punya tetangga yang baik... jadi gak merasa sendiri.. :)

Udah ah gerah ! Gue mau cabz beli es teh manis doloooo trus molorrr...

Miss me okay ?? :) Mwah !! *hugs*

Cheers !

Wei !! Pernah lihat Project Manager pake baju daster gak sih ?? :P - nah kalo belum coba2 aja mampir ke tempat gue lagi kerja sekarang, loe2 akan lihat pemandangan rada2 kocak :P - soale ada Project Manager sedang lihat2 denah rumah dan control para builder dan dealing sama macam2 orang pake daster =p heuhehieie... kinda lucu2 gimana gitu.

Abisnya pagi2 kadang2 sudah di udag2 suruh ke site of work jadinya abis mandi belum makan pagi sudah ada di lokasi *dipaksa ke lokasi* heiehiehie jadi ya gitu deh... Project Manager pake daster - new trend tauk !!! :lol: bodo awh... yang penting my work can be done lah :)

So far, chaos banget deh sikon dan sibuk luar biasa dan semakin hari akan semakin gila2an .... semua sudah rata2 stress karena nggak biasa sama sikon yang ada ... sementara hal2 yang begini udah jadi pengalaman gue beberapa kali jadi nggak kaget lagi.... maklumlah gue kan udah biasa jadi kuli bangunan =p

Today, minta izin kanan-kiri dan photo taking...biar gak ada yang aneh2 dikemudian hari :D - normal procedures :)

Ok deh.....waktu gue gak banyak depan kompi, gue cuman mo nulis dikit aja dan ngabarin if anyone care at all =p - ngantuk buanget dan capeeekkkkkk !! So, take care aja deh pada.... See ya ...

Cheers !

Wow ! Busy, busy,busy.... The packing almost done and Monday would be the big day and it is going to be major change for at least for the next 2 months or so. We'll be moving out of the house for those time until the house constructions completed. It would be interesting to see how we all coping with all that happening :D

~*~ A n g e L ~*~

My Sweet Heart....

Terdiamku Merenung...
Terdiamku memohon...

Terdiamku mencari...
Terdiamku Istighfar...
Terdiamku tafakur...

Terdiamku menangis...    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;       
Terdiamku meminta ampun...
Terdiamku berdo'a...
Terdiamku takut...

Terdiamku mencinta...
Terdiamku tunduk...

Terdiamku malu akan dosa-dosaku...
Ajarilah aku agar bertaubatan nasuha...

Jangan jadikan kami orang-orang yang merugi...

= Sentuh aku dengan Sinar-MU Ya Rabb... =

Howdy folks !!!

I have not been here for you huh ? well, I apologize for my absent... although it doesn't look like anyone missing me anyway :lol: so hihihihi WTH !!

I have been busy cleaning up the house and put stuffs in the boxes... why ? well, we are in process of moving house !! Why ? well, because our old house are also in process of being rebuild. So we have to shift ourself to a rented house during the work on the house. So it is major chaos at the moment and weeks ahead going to be massive CHAOS ! hheiheih... but looking forward to it somehow :) - after all... we got something new for ourself to look forward to... my present for both of my parents.... :)

With hope all going to go well.... amien. So, for any of you to visit... errmmm... well :D - you guys just gonna have to put up with the conditions hihihihi... plus I don't really recommend it =p coz I would be extremely busy and perhaps not too much time to hang out with you guys... personally or through the web... so I apologize if I don't post any writing as much, ok?

Any volunteer ? hihihihi.... I need a hand with the house moving yow !! :D

Well, wish us luck and catch all of you now and again... Take good care okay and keep on smiling please... Luv Y'all *hugs* - got any queries ?you can send message thru here, my mobile or my email - you know what to do :)

Hmmm... the house gonna be so cool... coz I helped my mum to design it :oops: - it would be pretty tropical and traditional kind of house, just the way it should be ... Our rich culture of Indonesia - awesome !

Cheers !

Still down with the flu but surviving the earthquake. The country in turmoil once again.... everywhere I look and hear is people crying and in pain. The earth shaking and growling.... the once beautiful volcanoes are now angry and erupting ...the smiles disappeared and once again sorrow becaming everyone best friends.

What on earth is happening ?

The world shifting to major change right now and globaly we can hear that disasters strikes in most part of the world, things happening everyday, some things are surfacing but never before, the snow falling in places where you could never imagine it will falls. Earth, wind, fire, water .... this become a strong forces... and we can not fight it ! We can prevent but we can not stop it.

Earthquake after earthquake keep shaking this beloved country , the country where beauties exists but now turn against us :( - once again we are being faced by death and suffering, blood and tears, lost and confused... children running around trying to find their parents, parents trying to find them desperately... some with happy ending, but some crying in trauma with  limp body/ bodies of their love one... damm !!!

Please..please help us to stop this tears, help us to feed our people, help us to put clothes in our children's body, help us to smile again... just help us :cry:

You can save a penny or two and donate it through this associations: MTV Asia Aid or MTV International  or some other associations available in your country !!

Also check this site out, and make a difference to OUR world , put your voice there.... One Person, One Voice, One Hope - The ONE - support it ! Because your voice can make a big difference in our face of the world.

Cheers !

Air Mata Rosulullah...

Tiba-tiba dari luar pintu terdengar seseorang yang
berseru mengucapkan salam.
"Bolehkah saya masuk?" tanyanya. Tapi Fatimah tidak mengizinkannya masuk, "Maafkanlah, ayahku sedang demam," kata Fatimah yang membalikkan badan dan menutup pintu.

Kemudian ia kembali menemani ayahnya yang ternyata sudah membuka mata dan bertanya pada Fatimah, "Siapakah itu wahai anakku?" "Tak tahulah ayahku, orang sepertinya baru sekali ini aku melihatnya," tutur Fatimah lembut.
Lalu, Rasulullah menatap puterinya itu dengan pandangan yang menggetarkan. Seolah-olah bahagian demi bahagian wajah anaknya itu hendak dikenang.

"Ketahuilah, dialah yang menghapuskan kenikma tan sementara, dialah yang memisahkan pertemuan didunia. Dialah malaikatul maut," kata Rasulullah.
Fatimah pun menahan ledakkan tangisnya. Malaikat maut datang menghampiri, tapi Rasulullah menanyakan kenapa Jibril tidak ikut sama menyertainya.
Kemudian dipanggillah Jibril yang sebelumnya sudah bersiap di atas langit dunia menyambut ruh kekasih Allah dan penghulu dunia ini. "Jibril, jelaskan
apa hakku nanti di hadapan Allah?" Tanya Rasululllah dengan suara yang amat lemah.

"Pintu-pintu langit telah terbuka, para malaikat telah menanti ruhmu. Semua syurga terbuka lebar menanti kedatanganmu," kata Jibril. Tapi itu ternyata tidak membuatkan Rasulullah lega, matanya masih  penuh kecemasan.
"Engkau tidak senang mendengar khabar ini?"  Tanya Jibril lagi.
"Khabarkan kepadaku bagaimana nasib umatku kelak?"

"Jangan khawatir, wahai Rasul Allah, aku pernah mendengar Allah berfirman kepadaku: 'Kuharamkan syurga bagi siapa saja, kecuali umat Muhammad telah berada di dalamnya," kata Jibril.

Detik-detik semakin dekat, saatnya Izrail melakukan tugas. Perlahan ruh Rasulullah ditarik. Nampak seluruh tubuh Rasulullah bersimbah peluh, urat-urat lehernya menegang. "Jibril, betapa sakit sakaratul maut ini."
Perlahan Rasulullah mengaduh. Fatimah terpejam, Ali yang di sampingnya menunduk semakin dalam dan Jibril memalingkan muka. "Jijikkah kau melihatku, hingga kau palingkan wajahmu Jibril?" Tanya Rasulullah pada Malaikat pengantar wahyu itu.

"Siapakah yang sanggup, melihat kekasih Allah direnggut ajal," kata Jibril.

Sebentar kemudian terdengar Rasulullah mengaduh, karena sakit yang tidak tertahankan lagi. "Ya Allah, dahsyat nian maut ini, timpakan saja semua
siksa maut ini kepadaku, jangan pada umatku."
Badan Rasulullah mulai dingin, kaki dan dadanya sudah tidak bergerak lagi. Bibirnya bergetar seakan hendak membisikkan sesuatu.

Ali segera mendekatkan telinganya. "Uushiikum bis shalati, wa maa malakat aimanuku --peliharalah shalat dan peliharalah orang-orang lemah di  antaramu."
Diluar pintu tangis mulai terdengar bersahutan, sahabat saling berpelukan. Fatimah menutupkan tangan di wajahnya, dan Ali kembali mendekatkan
telinganya ke bibir Rasulullah yang mulai kebiruan. "Ummatii, ummatii, ummatiii?" - "Umatku, umatku, umatku"

Dan, berakhirlah hidup manusia mulia yang memberi sinaran itu. Kini, mampukah kita mencintai sepertinya? Allahumma sholli 'ala Muhammad wa
baarik alaaa wa salim 'alaihi Betapa cintanya Rasulullah kepada
kita.

NB :
Kirimkan kepada sahabat-sahabat muslim lainnya agar timbul kesadaran untuk mencintai Allah dan RasulNya, seperti Allah dan Rasulnya mencintai kita. Karena sesungguhnya selain daripada itu hanyalah fana belaka. Amin...
Usah gelisah apabila dibenci manusia karena masih banyak yang menyayangimu di dunia. Namun gelisahlah apabila dibenci Allah karena tiada lagi yang mengasihmu diakhirat.

(sumber: posting Ukht Siti Latifah di milis
pengajian@yahoogroups.com)

Kinda confusing sometime, life not meant to be easy but confusing ? This is one thing I can not stand !! Perhaps most of us do too. What on earth am rambling about ?? :D  - emotionaly confused ! That's what it is... things of the past just sometime still trying to bring you back into the past and you kinda enjoy it being there for little while but then you realise that what you are doing and ask yourself : " What is the point of all this ??? " personally, I have no answer to this , therefore it is confusing !!!

Oh yeah...Check My Metamorphosis and My Lastest Pics - I am human... I change and the pictures will tell you my story :) - I say... I am doing marvelous after all... thanks for your guys supports through out my tough time *hugs*

What other issues ? : well... hihihi I am still branded FAT !! :roll: - kinda funny in some way though because some of my friends saying it the loving way =p - and the word that they used are not exactly FAT but more like... chubby, voluptous, and other "cutey" kinda name... although the truth is probably they want to say : FAT heiheihie but too polite to say. I am 160 cm in height and 56 kg in weight !!! How many kilos more do I need to sheds to be call : THIN ?? - do I need to be anorexia first to be called THIN ? is it worth it ? I bet my funky azz IT isn't ! =p

Well maybe by Asian standard I am rather "fat" because most Asian's girls are thin and slender ..... exotic huh ? - so what ! I think if I look back few month back when Dexamethason "help" me to be fat , I was truly FAT , I gained more than 10 kg's :shock: and I had a reason to be like that... I mean I can't help myself at the time to be fat but since the operation, I have been trying my best to recover and eat well for my health and to lose weight. By comparison I am much slender now than few months back ... even then some people taunted me and comment on how fat I was :D - at least I can lose my fat , but those people's stupidity ?? hiehieheieheihe

It is harsh to have some sickness and people taunting you mercilessly - I face it with  jokes and I rather doing that than take it to heart.... but in my own little space my brain kind of being brainwashed onto thinking that YES I am fat , unfortunately I do thinking that way... up until now... and you know what ? I begin to diet like crazy... I would start to eat less and less everyday and taking some diet pills - yes, I did lose some weight but let me tell you the price ... I nearly pass out many times and recently .. I almost got myself a thypoid because I have no energy nor the strength to fight the virus - I woke up with cold sweat and dizziness and vomit blood ! F*ckin' stupid huh ??? Indeed !! All because of people "doesn't mean" to say that I am Fat :) - psychologically it is damaging to comment on someone the same comment over couple of years, I've learned 1st hand that even the strongest would break down and start to think like so when the word they can hear is just IT , in this case is FAT.

I do not want to be Anorexic nor Bulimic !! Anorexia is the most fatal of all psychological illnesses, with mortality rate around 10to 20 % ( often from suicide ). It's the third highest cause of death amongst young women. :shock: - the reason behind Anorexia can be varied, some reason may sound so silly while others so disturbing... but do you know the pattern ? Most of the reason behind someone being Anorexic can be as close as someone who are close to them ... want some example ?? friends, your mum, your sis , your boyfriend... anyone ! Including those glamourous magazine who pictured girls with beautiful outfit and a "coathanger" body - women being considered beautiful and sexy when they thin ?? not everybody think so .... but most , unfortunately :) - including me for some stupid reason :roll: how do you think I got in these stupid mess in the 1st place ?? hehhehehe

I know 1 girl , infact one of my friend, she was a beautiful, vibrant, smart, profesional, etc... she was in control with her own life... until she got a boyfriend :) *punch* - after going out with him for awhile she became more and more thinner and I notice that each time we go out for dinner, she would eat like she use to eat, like a horse and do you know what happen after dinner ? She would rush to the toilet for a good PUKE ! why ? so she can stay thin but eat what she want :shock: - she slipped blanket under her room door because she was afraid that the Fat might crawling in while she was sleeping ... she would cut the meal into small pieces and chew it thousands times !! - she's in the hospital now for kidney failure, her heart slowing, anemic, and she only weigh a mere 27 kg last I checked !! Damm you ! She's 30 yo with 165 cm frame and only 27 kg ??? Get Real !!! - all because her boyfriend keep calling her Fat !! and you know what worst ? she realise her mistake and got rid of her boyfriend but too late for her to turn back ... the damaged is done ! She's on drip and want to kill herself every chance she got :cry: - Bless her soul and may she have the strength to get better and well again - my friend being taken to hell by Anorexia :cry:

I do not want to be like her... but I understand the pressure and understand her emotion.. because I am experiencing it right now - but I am fighting the "demon" - I ain't going to give up .... I have not taking any diet pills and I have good healthy meal 3 x a day and my cheeks slowly getting pink again... I went to my doctor the other day... and stupidly asked her : "how can I lose this weight ?", she said simply : " Go get  new friends " :) - she's my Neurologist :) - cool huh ?

Anyway... I guess I just have to keep on trying... trying to be healthy and simplify my life and enjoying what I've got as well as appreciate it :) - On Monday, I must have my Magnetic Resonance Imagining ( MRI ) scan again to check and see if the little gremlins returning to my brain again or not ... wish me luck !! =p RSCM here I come !! ...those freakin' Contrast injection ain't taste so flash eigh ?? :lol: - darn thang ! =p - will let you guys know the result okay :)

Righto, I blabber enough... drop us a line will you's ?? Ta.

Cheers !!

The rainbow greet us this morning and a tad of sunshine emerging from behind the cloud... we had some warmth and soaking a bit of it before the cloud stole it away again from us :) -

The wind was quiet pleasant as the rain start to drop... it was like a misty liquid curtain... it was kinda magical in some way ... the ray of the sun shine the drops of rains just like drizzle of diamonds fall from the sky... sparkling and drowning us with thousands lights ......

I was in my own thought outside my house... I was
delivering dream into my brain and enjoying the flow of its bubbles.......

The sounds of the rain...

As if we listen to our hearts we can hear the
earth silently singing : It's the promise of the past, It's the yield of new
life - it's the songs  of the earth. They were always there - awakened by
our heart beats and nourished by our tears - the eternal songs that can lift
our spirits to reach for something higher within us.... so next time when
you see the rain comes... take a little time and listen to it babe... get in
touch with your spiritual side which I always found it was older than
yourself....
 

Beuh ternyata nggak enak pusing2 model begini !! Pagi2 sarapan yang sudah dibelikan sama kakak gue ternyata bukan rezeki gue karena gak bisa ditahan diperut lama-lama... huhuh emang enak ??!! Ya gpp reken2 berbagi sama ayam :shock: heiehiehei ... maap pak n bu ayam... :P

Hujan tiada hentinya hari ini jadi semakin penat aja rasanya hanya berada di rumah saja dan disekitar kamar tidur, bukannya hanya nggak bisa keluar karena hujan tapi karena desakan pusing yang nggak ilang2, masa kalo duduk2 enak tau2 pusing dan mual2 ... trus Huekkkkkkkkkkk =p - ndak romantis kan?? hueheuheuehu Memandang hujan dengan mesra2nya tau2 huekkkkkkkkk.. asli ndak romantis !! Wasyem tenan!

Seharian hanya di habiskan oleh tidur dan mimpi2 yang aneh dan silih berganti... kebanyakan hanya nightmare2 yang nggak jelas gitu.. masak sih siang2 mimpi serem dan complicated gitu ?? Astaghfirullah...

Sore2 di telephone sama Ndaru yang biasanya suka berbagi cerita dan mencerahkan fikiran diantara kesibukannya di kantor dan benar saja ketika dia telpon ya gitu deh... meski di mulai dengan lesu2nya diriku tapi pada akhirnya aku bisa sedikit tertawa mendengar celoteh si Ndaru Guntur itu .. kembaranku yang gondronk itu =p - kebiasaan dia suka ngasih semangat yang sampe di ucapin sendiri sama dia " Ayo dong Semangat mboke` " heuheuehiehie dan agak2 males2an aku menanggapinya tapi setuju sama dia ... memang patutnya penyakit harus di berantas ! Tapi aku udah males ke dokter jeh :oops: - BOSEN ! itu yang ada di ucapan dan benak ku ketika kata2 DOKTER dan OBAT tercetus di setiap teman2 yang tau aku agak ndak enak body... bosen bin boring deh ! Tapi daripada daripada ?? semua rata2 mengatakan mungkin gelaja tyhpus :shock: ihhhh... atut... ditambah dengan Ndaru mengatakan kalo obat yang paling bagus buat thypus tuh cacing tanah yang merah di rebus dan airnya di minum bersama air jeruk :shock: OWALAH Dalah Kersaning Kopyah !! tau gak sih Ndaruuuuuu kalo aku tuh paling geli sama cacinggggggggggggg ????????? buset deh! ya udah deh aku ndak jadi penyakitan thypus.. aku sembuh deh sembuh !! daripada di suruh mimik cacing merah !! Wes.. sembuh 100 % total tal tal !!

Kata mama gitu juga... euleuh.. bajajmana sih ?? ndak ada yang mbelain deh kalo begini :cry: ayo belain dong aw !! Apa ndak ada obat lain selain cacing tanah yang merah itu ?? *BAHAS* eiheieheihe ... halah... ada gak sih orang penyakitan cerengesan begini terus kayak aku ??

Eh oh... eh... tadi perasaan gue gue deh ngomongnya sekarang kok jadi aku ? perubahan suhu udara di dalam kamar atau ....?? Buen !

Geledek tuh tadi sore minta ampun guedenya... aku yg sedang bobok sampe jenggirat!! alias kaget kebangun dan menyangka ada bom meledak saking kuencengnya !! Kalo di foto pas kaget gitu kocak kali yeh ?? soale bakalan bego banget dah mukanya =p udah bego keliatan bego wes.... bisa2 certified BEGOK 100 % heieheiehieheihe

Hmmm..... baunya hujan enak banget... cini... main cini... kita main hujan2an dan nyiprat2in air ... inget gak kalian ? heueheihe simple banget yah permainan masa kecil dan nggak kenal yang namanya masuk angin. Sekarang kok kena angin dikit aja kembung ?? dasar badan sudah menua.. koyoke kudu nyebut deh kalo main hujan2an sekarang ?? :D Ndaru *plak* heihiehi

Hmmm... wajah putihnya tertidur disampingku dan matanya bergerak-gerak perlahan.. ada senyum di wajahnya dan jari2nya terdiam meski terkadang bergerak-gerak... Nanda tertidur dengan pulasnya disampingku bagaikan seogok batu pualam yang berharga dan seindah bidadari senyumnya ... aku bersyukur kepada-NYA lagi2 aku bersyukur kepada-NYA akan karunia-NYA yang DIA berikan buat aku dalam bentuk seorang bidadari kecil yang boleh aku asuh meski aku tak boleh memilikinya ... karena Nanda adalah punya DIA ... paling nggak aku dipercayakan buat ngasuh Nanda dan itu sudah karunia yang luar biasa... mudah2an aku bisa selalu mengemban tugas itu seumur hidupku sampai akhir hayatku... amien...* cium2 Nanda * wangi yah.... hihihihihi

Gitu deh tulisan hari ini , lumayan bisa menulis segini banyaknya dan mengungkapkan isi hati meski kepala masih nyut2an... Buat temen2 semua.. jaga kesetanan... eh kesehatan =p maklum udara lagi nggak enak nih. Look after eachother yah :) *hugs*

Cheers !! Say hi to your folks for us :) mwah !